healing – connecting – empowering – thriving
Asking why you are in there
is like questioning a person
for holding their breath
while underwater
This place was a necessity
when no other options existed
Yet in there your safety
is intertwined with
memories from which
this place was born
I will not ask
to lower your guard
or beg for trust
I have not yet earned
My promise to you
is to search for new comfort
free of the tainted feelings
that this posture incites
I chase my hurt away
one stroke at a time
across the inviting canvas
Moving my brush
with enough intention
precision and speed
to evade the grip
of what claws at me
from deep within
Immersed in the colors
contours and textures
I welcome this ride
of fleeting freedom
A gift of escape
without the strings
attached to my other
less desirable choices
They filled your mind with promises
An array of enticing colors
Leading you up a perilous climb
Achieving their desired seclusion
They lined your path with shackles
Disguised as your own choices
Led to a room with no exits, teetering
On a place demanding submission
Close enough to rescue that its light
Shines like a beacon upon you
Yet others cannot see what they do not wish to see
Leaving you doused in invisibility
They handed you poison dressed up as a toy
An undetectable trap
It feels heavy in your arms
Yet you dismiss its discomfort
Just as you were instructed
You were chosen
You were special
You stood out to them in some way
You hold their secrets
Quiet and steady
Not letting them see
How it makes you tremble
You were never meant to understand
The position they put you in
Blind obedience is the
Tower they constructed
In the labyrinth you now reside
This weight placed upon you
Was never your choice
Its ensnaring complexity
Contrived specifically for you
To lure you in and then slowly break
You into scattered pieces
I see your pain tucked in deep beneath your
Outward strength and courage
Far from their grip you stand frozen in time
Afraid to step down and see
The sight of your suffering
Might carry its own weight somehow worse than living in it
How can you know that it is safer below
Than the misery you are wrapped in
How can I ask more from you
Than what you have already given
My questions have sharp edges
They swirl around me
Gripping, stabbing, and bleeding from me
Swarming through my mind
Like a dense fog
Engulfing me in blind confusion
They tempt me to doubt hope
Draping me in loneliness
They live deep here
Layer upon layer
Creating an armor that
Keeps me from you
Whispers beg to give voice
To my questions
To reach for your hand
Accepting what you offer
Alarms warn that your
Hand is just an illusion
Another trick leading
To a dark place I know too well
Tightly I hold my questions
A line in the sand between me and you
A false sense of power
Providing no more than
Self destructive ammunition
For a battle I wish to surrender to
Unravel, dear one
Let it pour from you
Like dripping sweat
Cooling your fiery soul
Weep, sweet child
Let all that burdens you
Melt away
with each tender breath
Your inviting light draws me in
My companion in the stormy darkness
You offer a passage to dull the ache
That simmers deep inside
I enter your embrace
Dismissive of its cost
Longing for sweet relief
A retreat within
To a place with no name
Draping me in your warm
Cloak of familiarity
Here the noise quiets
If only for a moment
Allowing breath to return
Foolishly refreshed
And unknowingly branded
This place feels like home
A home I must run from
