Drawing, painting, and creating have provided me with the ability to access and express emotions often before words can be found and assigned to them. This has been a crucial component of my healing from childhood sexual abuse. This section is dedicated to sharing my healing journey artwork from both past and present.
This watercolor painting represents my calming communication with my brain. Drawing my mind away from past dangers and into the safety of the present always involves my children. They are my happy place. A thought, a memory, or even a simple precious moment of them sitting on our tree swing together elicits a calming response in my activated nervous system. It is amazing to think about how much these two precious beings that depend and rely on me for comfort, safety, and care can also satisfy those exact needs in me.
This pencil drawing expresses the struggle of addressing the overwhelming impact of my childhood trauma. Sometimes I feel as though I am trying to rip out all of the damaged parts of myself in a frantic fury. Sometimes it feels like the harder I fight to release myself from the tangled web of confusion, pain, and shame of my past, the tighter its growing grip ensnares me.
I created this pastel drawing as a self portrait project when I was in high school in the midst of suffering years of sexual abuse in silence. My drawing was clearly a shouting cry for help from a child with no voice and no way out of an impossible situation. Her cries were left entirely unnoticed. As I now tend to the wounds of my inner child I am beginning to understand that she still feels trapped, alone, ignored, dangling on the edge of darkness begging for help. For more reflections on this drawing see my blog post, Edge of Darkness.
This series of paintings was born from a desire to focus my time and energy in a healthy direction during the pandemic by filling the empty walls of a room in my house with memorable places that I have visited. To read more about these paintings see my blog posts, Take Me Away – #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7.
She cautiously reaches for what she needs while clinging onto the safety of all she has ever known.
Sometimes healing requires painting your own sunshine.