Taking A Leap

acrylic painting – by Sara

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

This first step I am taking feels more like a giant barefooted and blindfolded leap – a leap right towards all of the thoughts that try to convince me to stay still, silent, and small. This painting marks the beginning of this leap.

Next month I plan to enter a new adventure – attempting to begin selling my artwork. I am in the process of creating an Etsy shop and will provide the link here on my blog once it is up and running.

It’s exciting to inch towards this new adventure, and it’s also terrifying. I know I am not alone in my thoughts of not being good enough or talented enough or whatever enough to attempt a new challenge. I know that even on the day I choose to open my shop and attempt to market and sell my work to others for the very first time that the voice inside that screams “your art is not good enough to exist anywhere outside of the walls you create it in” will still be there. And it might even get louder.

But I have to try.

Why? Because as long as I’m still breathing I need to keep trying. And right now I really need to try something new. I feel so incredibly broken inside. This feeling of being insignificant – that it wouldn’t matter if I just suddenly disappeared from the world – is immense sometimes. And it feels like it’s growing. I have this new default answer that comes to my mind every single time I meet someone new and they ask me what I do for work. I hate that it’s my first thought. I hate that it’s such a strong thought. But it comes screaming forward in response to that question every single time.

What do you do for a living? I take up space.

I need to push back on that thought. I need to find a way to create a new answer that I can fully believe in. When I paint that thought and that feeling shrinks just a little bit. It gives me space to breathe. It creates room for possibility. It gives me a momentary sense of purpose.

That is how I arrived here. Full of doubt, loaded with questions, and sprinkled with hope. This new adventure feels like something worth pursuing.

12 thoughts on “Taking A Leap

  1. Go for it! You’ve just as much right to take up space as anyone else. Your art is your self expression and I commend you for starting the new venture. I love that quote. Brene Brown used it didn’t she? I think we’re all getting our asses kicked in the arena of life but we’re showing up and being seen so go us! Good luck. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the supportive nudge. 💕Yes, Brene Brown used that quote in her Daring Greatly book. Love her work. And I love Roosevelt’s quote. It hangs on my kitchen wall.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I hear the turbulence of the spot you are in right now. The Etsy art shop sounds like a beautiful step for yourself. ❤️ A step that takes courage and love. A step against that heavy force that tries to hold down and hide your true self from yourself and the world.

    If you want share the link to your shop on here when it goes up. I love your art!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I will share the link on WP when I get it going.
      I don’t have high expectations around it. But I don’t really think that’s the point. As you said, it’s more about taking a step against the heavy force. I’m hoping it helps to create a shift within.
      I really appreciate your comment. 💗💗

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think opening up an Etsy shop would be awesome!!! That takes courage and strength, and I hope you give yourself credit for being willing to do something like open your own store. Best of luck as you begin this new adventure! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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