

Almost two years ago, at the beginning of the pandemic, I picked up a paintbrush and revisited an old passion of mine. Drawing and painting have always been an interest but often existed in the background with only occasional inspiration. In recent years art has developed into a therapeutic means of self expression and has enabled me to access feelings that are often difficult to wrap words around.
When the pandemic began and my part time job was replaced with remote learning facilitation duties for my two kids, I dove into a creative project that I am now close to completing. I decided to dig through photographs from my favorite trips, places, and memories and paint them. I devoted a room in my house to hang all of these painted memories. As the months passed by more and more paintings were completed and added to this collection. The more I painted the more I enjoyed it.
Almost two years later and the walls of this room that I have devoted to this creative project are nearly filled. I still have plans to paint a few more, but this project is now nearing its end. The interesting part about this challenge that I ventured into is that now as I look back at my first paintings in this series I see them differently. I see parts that I like as well as ways in which I might approach the paintings slightly different – color choices I would tweak, composition choices I would alter, or details I know I can express better now.
Reflecting on this past art work has caused some deeper thinking. I can see in my paintings that my skills have improved over time. It may not be a quantitative measure like improving a test score or a race time, but I see growth in areas that I struggled with at the beginning, and I even see growth where I didn’t know I needed to grow.
As I sit here today in a space of personal struggle – with uncertainty of my value here – doubting my own self worth and purpose – perhaps my paintings can show me something I’ve been failing to see.
Sometimes it’s hard to know where we stand. Sometimes it’s hard to have the proper perspective to find the space that exists between our shortcomings, our own personal growth, and our potential. It can feel so dark and murky that it just feels safer to shrink down in place. Perhaps this reflection on my painting process can be a reminder to look back and remember the struggles that have been overcome and the growth that has occurred. Perhaps then it might be possible to pave the way for a new healthier perspective that has seemed otherwise impossible.
I have gone swimming in the Merced River at that bridge-Thank you for bringing that bit of nostalgia
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Aww thank you for this comment. I’m so glad it sparked a bit of nostalgia for you. 😊
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Excellent! Art therapy really works, plus the added benefit of building your visual skills. Nice project, you’ll treasure these for a lifetime and so will your children
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Thank you so much! 💗😊
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Oh, I so hope you continue to paint, and continue to post them here. You are a vibrant part of our blogging community, and I personally adore your work and writing, Sara. ❤️
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Such a heartfelt compliment, Jeff. Thank you so much! 💕
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You’re welcome, Sara. Always! 💕
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If it is any consolation I have seen during this current Venus retrograde period that a lot of people are struggling a lot with old painful self judgements… you are so strong to have come through what you endured, Sara and look at this beautiful creativity blossoming forth.. You are valued, valuable, precious and loved.. ❤
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Thank you for this incredibly kind and heartfelt comment. It is such difficult work to wade into and attempt to rewire those old faulty connections and beliefs. Yet it is also precisely where healing resides. 💗
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Hugs and love to you, Sara. 🤗❤
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💗💗💗
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